Sikh Indian Wedding

A Man Of Many Other Women’s Dreams!

Hey Monica. This is fairly recent, so I’m actually reconsidering asking you this – but here goes. So, I got married 6 months ago to the man of my dreams. The problem, or blessing (you tell me which) was that he was the man of many other women’s dreams too. A proper Casanova – charming, chivalrous, knows how to flirt, good looking. I am not simply saying this because I married him, you know how some people are just made for romance. The marriage is mostly fine – we get along very well, and he shares responsibilities. But it seems that his old fire is coming back, and it’s not just me he’s getting along with anymore. He pays too much attention to some of my friends, and even a neighbor that we have. Now I am not conventionally attractive and that bothers me. Am I just paranoid or should I be doing something about this?

Hi there! Well, I know all about this type of man, and not just from experience, if you get my drift. Now you being paranoid isn’t some sort of mental problem, it’s perfectly normal. We often tend to get insecure because of certain qualities that people have, and your husband was a womanizer – so this is quite expected.

Now you must remember that the same qualities that you’re calling a ‘problem’ were what attracted you to him in the first place. Once you fully understand that, it may help with the insecurity. The point is, having these thoughts is fine, but acting upon them may just be problematic – or exaggerating them for that matter.

Casanova MenAlso, given that you two share an otherwise healthy relationship, talking to him is probably better than letting it build up in your own head. Share your insecurities, and open up about your problems to him. He may just understand and give you that special kind of attention that you crave. Focus on what makes you, and not on your husband, or all those other women have. Loving yourself is often the key to eliminating external hate and anger. Since you have been married only 6 months, I would say it is too early to tell and take things as they come.

About the Author

Monica

Monica is a moniker for our relationship expert. She's been working as a relationship counselor for over 10 years, and over time, has sharpened her personality. Unlike typical counselors, Monica is not afraid to use a harsher method to resolve certain issues that demand it. Even if she's a virtual entity now, she can still see into your soul.

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