Aunt Monica’s Rant: Are you Dating/About to Date a Fuckboi?

It’s time for an Aunt Monica rant! To give you the best summary of what this is, the answer to “Am I dating a fuckboi?” can be found right here in this article.

Every week, many of you ask me questions related to a few things. Namely: Married life, dating issues or sexuality – I guess that pretty much covers it all.

However, this week, I want to talk about: Fuckbois. Yup, you heard right. And for all you idiots who think fuckbois are different in every culture, think again. A fuckboi is a fuckboi. He can be a desi one, but that doesn’t make him any different than the American, Australian, Canadian, Japanese or even fuckbois from Mars, for that matter.

This article won’t just be information on fuckbois – it’ll should also serve as a warning to you ditzy girls. Let’s begin!

So, what is a Fuckboi?

A fuckboi’s main priority is just one thing: Sex. Yes ladies, sorry to disappoint you but there is no other ultimate agenda they have. They may come in various shapes and sizes, but they all want to simply get laid. The ‘fuck’ in fuckboi should be interpreted correctly, yes?

Met a nice guy last night at a friend’s party? Go to his social media profile. His Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and then other profiles need to be examined in order. Remember, snapchat and Insta will be his most used social media profiles. If he’s desi, maybe he’ll use Facebook for his activities too.

Ever been to college? I hope you have, for your sake. Anyway, we’ve all had that one dude in our social circle who keeps putting up pictures of his car. Or his abs. Followed by his abs inside a car. Bottom line? All of his social media activity will be geared for one thing: getting sexual favors from the opposite sex.

P.S: Tinder/Bumble/OkCupid etc. are his most used apps, generally speaking.

A Fuckboi’s Habitats in Real Life

As I said, Fuckbois come in all shapes and forms. Here’s a small but handy guide.

They can be the ‘intellectual-activist’ types who will be sensitive, protest for women’s rights and burn a bra with you if you’re into that. These kinds will be found in colleges that deal with the arts and other ‘cultural’ education. But when it comes to commitment, their ‘modern’ take on love and attachment will come out. They’ll tell you they believe in ‘free love’ and ‘sexual liberation’, using it as an excuse to get another day of sex.

Another fuckboi exists only during social gatherings – house parties, the club or the bar. This is because he wants to show himself as a party-goer, an elite socialite who knows all the right people and the right places. This guy can also be the DJ behind the console. Even better, he may be an ‘organizer’ type who will think its his birthright to grope any woman who had the privilege of attending a party organized by him.

Credits: BroScienceLife

A very obvious fuckboi can be found inside a gym, or at any place where sports are practiced. These sweaty lads think they ooze masculinity, which they do in toxic quantities. This guy will also give nutrition tips, wear T-shirts with captions like “Play hard or go home”, and keep wanting to ‘improve your form’. He will make it a point to show you just how ‘healthy’ his lifestyle is, which means another ab-flash on his Instagram with a caption that tells you about his favorite health drink.

There also exist the #wanderlusty type of fuckbois who’ll show their abs on a boat in an exotic location. These guys want to show themselves to be ‘interested in people and other cultures’ but more often than not, are interested mainly in said women from those cultures. And just their body parts, thank you. These types are also privileged enough to go travelling when they can’t nail down a job, or just generally pick jobs that promise a lot of (self-funded) travel.

Credits: GettyImages

You may never know when you’ll be hit on by a fuckboi, really. He can be the overtly friendly neighbor next door who’s a mama’s boy. He’s out to melt your heart (but ultimately your pants) with his diabetic attitude.

Credits: Akshay Dave@Unsplash

He may be found inside a music studio with a lot of expensive instruments, but average talents to say the least while he croons a standard four-chord song on his semi-acoustic. He’ll look in your eyes while he does it too.

Credits: Culturface

There is also the ‘cultured’ fuckboi who’ll appreciate silent films, jazz clubs, the theatre and so on. He’s the kind that’s done a lot of MUNs and probably wants to be a lawyer/think tank backbencher/investment banker and so on. This type will not be obvious, as he’s got a decent vocabulary too – most fuckbois can’t go beyond ‘send nudes’, so he’s got the advantage. This kind of fuckboi basically makes himself look like he’s above sex and out of your league. Get to know him for more than a week on WhatsApp and he’ll be inviting himself over to your house every weekend.

The best, yet most self-depreciating way to tell that you’ve been ‘fuckboid’ is to see how they behave after the sex is over. If they liked it, you’ll see them next weekend. If they didn’t, you probably won’t see much of them until they’re really desperate or horny.

Now I’m guessing you see – no matter there they come from and where they’re going, the message is the same. When they began a conversation with you, they were horny AF and wanted to get laid. And so, they did.

So, what’s wrong with being with (or being) a fuckboi anyway?

Sadly, many women end up in a series of unfortunate relationships with these fuckbois. They begin blaming themselves, and losing self-esteem for not being able to keep a guy faithful for more than 2 weeks.

Women can also go the other way, hating all of the male species as they take comfort in their ‘girl-gang’ every alcohol-soaked night.

My opinion? It’s really simple. You may not see it coming, but a fuckboi, at some point in time, will make it clear that he’s not really into you for who you are. Ever heard a line like this?

“I’m not looking for commitment.”

OR

“I don’t want to give this relationship a label.”

OR

“Send nudes”

Obviously both men and women take time to warm up to each other. Not every man is going to fall in unfettered love with you in a single day, and if he does, it’s probably a cause to worry. But a fuckboi will skirt the topic of too much quality time with you, and will also subtly (or obviously) make moves towards one objective: getting you into bed.

Why is it wrong to be a fuckboi? Cause you’re a self-serving piece of shit that spoils things for the entire male population. Cause you will do anything it takes to satisfy your libido – and let’s face it, you may not be good in bed either. Cause you come from a place of privilege that lets you be a dick because your mother didn’t raise you better. Cause you don’t really respect women. Amongst a thousand other things.

But is it wrong to be with a fuckboi? Well, only if you know that this is exactly what you want. You’re looking for a casual hookup? A one-night stand? Something that doesn’t involve commitment? Be my guest.

However, DON’T – and I repeat DON’T expect to give your fuckboi multiple chances and expect to turn him into the man of your estrogen-borne dreams. It’s going to be tough, and let’s face it, it won’t ever happen.

All I can say at the end of this is : Best of luck, you sorry souls!

About the Author

Monica

Monica is a moniker for our relationship expert. She's been working as a relationship counselor for over 10 years, and over time, has sharpened her personality. Unlike typical counselors, Monica is not afraid to use a harsher method to resolve certain issues that demand it. Even if she's a virtual entity now, she can still see into your soul.

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