finding decent guy to marry

Aunt Monica’s Rant: Why Not Me?

Hello lovelies!

Hope you girlies are doing fine, because your Aunt Monica is just so done with these weddings. It’s not a joke trying to find something nice to wear almost EVERY weekend. I’m sure all of you totally understand the pressure of finding the right clothes, but wait a minute! Finding clothes is alright, but where are these young brides even finding the boys to marry?

searching grooms

Have I missed something? Is there a secret stash of NORMAL, common-sensed, male humans out there that only come out under the rays of the full moon or something? All I see these days are fuckbois -.-

Regardless of the matter, we are dealing with an entire race of hypocrites. Okay, I will break it down for you.

shy-man-marriage

So all of us have dated and come across many types of men. You meet at a party or through mutual friends. You exchange numbers, late night texting, a couple of shy dates and many more not-so-shy dates. *wink wink*

romantic gesture

But let’s be honest, it all ends the same way.

You either grow out of each other or he majorly fucks up (which is usually the case).

You cry, feel sad, might even avoid going out for a few weeks. But if you’re smart just like your Aunt Monica, you might even go out and celebrate this crisis averted! Haha.

single-girl-party

Months pass, even a year or more. And you’ve moved on with your life. And there you see it – Right there on Facebook – Engagement pictures! Relax. Breathe. Maybe it’s not even him. It could be his cute cousin who you met only once.

Read the caption – ‘Fuck. its him only’.

‘Who the fuck is she?’

‘Wtf. Did he finally get his uni-brow removed?! How come he never got it done for me?’

‘Damn…He’s been working out too…’

Check mutual friends with his bride-to-be. Stalker Mode – ON.

And then the dreadful thoughts start sinking in… ‘That could have been me.’ Honestly though, why NOT you? I mean, after all you were the one who put in all the hard work and transformed him to a functional human being from the man-child he was.

girl-reacting-hopelessly

You were the one who taught him how to share a bathroom with a girl, how to fold his clothes, how to segregate waste, how to do the dishes, how to BEHAVE and look presentable. Babe, you put in REAL work and patience into this private non-profitable project called ‘Dating Him’. And after all that hard work, SOMEONE ELSE is reaping the harvest. UGH.

I have zero patience left now and I absolutely refuse to put in the same amount of effort into civilizing another man. But wait wait wait. Don’t go around feeling THAT bad for yourself. Because tbh love, you dodged a bullet right there.

girl-with-drink

Fuck men who think they are better than you just cuz. Men have such double standards. And if you confront them about it, it will backfire (Cuz patriarchy ehh). No offense to that bride-to-be, but what have you really done to deserve a fully functioning automated man! (except pretend to be that perfect ‘homely bahu’, but we all know it’s a sham anyway. Dw. Your secret is safe with us.)

girl-taunt-reaction

Men basically want a paavam (innocent/pure), ‘homegrown’, innocent, family-loving, virgin girl who will easily be awed by everything they do and say and not question ANYTHING they do/say; someone whose life revolves around work (if they work) or just spending time with the family and trying to please the in-laws and maintain peace. Don’t get me wrong, it is NOT easy to manage a house but is that all you’re worth after marriage?

saas bahu talking

The first few questions they ask while getting to know you are always –

‘Do you smoke or drink?’

‘Have you ever had a boyfriend?’

‘What about sex? Are you a virgin?’

‘Oh…how many boys?’

If the answer is more than Zero – ‘Oh…okay.’ *uncertainty flashes on his face. What will I tell mumma?*

And what makes these boys feel like if we have dated in the past, we are not good enough to be married? Who are you to tell me that I’m not good enough for you? Like HELLO, what have YOU achieved in life that makes you an expert on judging women; What gives you the right to think that you are above women, that you are allowed to do things you would never allow your woman to do?

Please get this straight – Your average-sized penis does NOT qualify you to think you are better than anyone. A woman gave birth to you, which automatically compromises your position in front of any woman.

gif-image

I met Kanika, a 28 year old, well-established graphic designer from Bangalore. She told me that she was arranged to meet this boy by her extended family and they got along pretty well. They dated for a few months and finally got engaged. In the few months before their engagement, she was VERY honest to him about her past relationships and her general views on life, and so was he.

A few months after the engagement, Kanika’s email got hacked into by a creepy stalker who then went on to send her fiancé cryptic messages. All these emails suggested that Kanika had been in relationships in the past which were also of the sexual nature (which is so weird because we are in 2019 now lol). Anyhoo, instead of being supportive of Kanika in finding this stalker and taking care of the situation, he confronted her about ‘her past’ which he already knew about. But we all know how dumb and gullible men can be and he turned completely against her. Let’s just say the next few months were NOT a nice time for Kanika because she did not know who to trust.

Finally, she broke down in front of a family and told them everything and asked for the engagement to be called off – which they graciously did in support of their little girl.

(Update: Kanika is now married to a lovely man and they just adopted a dog together!)

giphy.gif kanika

But not all stories end like this. When there are no such cues before the wedding, the husband’s true colours only show after the marriage. And we all know divorce is not really a socially accepted act in India. Afterall, what will Parul Aunty or Bubbly Chachi talk about in the kitty?

Well girlies, the answer to this problem is simply – ‘To Not Give A Fuck’.

Yep, you heard it right. You do you and let Bubbly Chachi get a load off of your diamond earrings you wear to the next family party, which you INCIDENTALLY bought yourself.

giphy.gif sllay

About the Author

Monica

Monica is a moniker for our relationship expert. She's been working as a relationship counselor for over 10 years, and over time, has sharpened her personality. Unlike typical counselors, Monica is not afraid to use a harsher method to resolve certain issues that demand it. Even if she's a virtual entity now, she can still see into your soul.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Contact Us

Address

Dibon building, Plot No. 2,
Sahibzada Ajit Singh Nagar, 160062

Phone Number

+91 7696 706 821

Email ID

contact@wedswing.com


FOLLOW US