Help Your Wife Feel Beautiful

Help Your Wife Feel Beautiful!

Hi Monica. You can call me ‘Amit’, for reference – but naturally, I don’t want to reveal my identity. I have been married for 6 years now, and the relationship I have with my wife hasn’t been all that great. My sex drive is great, but over the years, my wife is simply not interested in having sex with me. She claims that her extra weight is making her seem unattractive, and she’s lost all interest in sex. I tried many things – asked her if she wanted to use toys, or go out together to exercise if she felt that her weight was an issue – but I’ve just been pushed away. Now it’s affecting our relationship out of bed too. She used to be chirpy and talkative also very beautiful, but we can’t seem to get past hi’s and hellos. What do I do?

Amit, this seems like a way bigger problem than simply the lack of a sex drive with your wife. Many people who’ve been married for long get into this sort of slump in their relationship once the honeymoon phase is over. While that is indeed normal, talking about your feelings about each other at regular intervals is highly necessary! You can’t keep treating each other like furniture simply because you know that the other person is now bound to you. Good, healthy sex is important in any romantic relationship.

I’m not doubting that. But for your wife to open up to you physically, she needs to reconnect with you mentally and emotionally. She claims that her weight is the problem? It’s highly likely that she might have a deeper, underlying issue with the relationship. If it’s the weight, then she might be feeling that her body is not beautiful anymore, dampening her confidence. You can only love another person, or even engage with them sexually once you’re comfortable with who you are, and give yourself the right kind of love.

weight problemsI would suggest that you first try sitting her down for an emotional conversation about what this relationship means for the two of you. Ask her questions, know whether she’s happy. Is it you? Is it her work? Does she miss something? You need that connection to be strengthened.

If that doesn’t help, ask her if she’s open to seeing a counselor – either alone, or with you. If she says she’s comfortable going alone, then she has her own demons to tackle, which you should respect. If she agrees to go together, then you can talk about your problems in an open forum without feeling repressed. I would urge you to do this quickly since this seems like a problem that should’ve been dealt with a long time ago – and Monica doesn’t like it when these problems just fester. So get out there, Amit, and salvage your relationship – and ultimately your sex life!

About the Author


Monica is a moniker for our relationship expert. She's been working as a relationship counselor for over 10 years, and over time, has sharpened her personality. Unlike typical counselors, Monica is not afraid to use a harsher method to resolve certain issues that demand it. Even if she's a virtual entity now, she can still see into your soul.

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