How can I initiate Sex with my husband?

Hello Monica. I work in an IT company in Hyderabad, and I’ve just gotten married to a man I very much love. It was an arranged marriage, but I’ve had no issues. The thing is, and I don’t know how to put it, but we’re both lacking experience when it comes to sex. We haven’t had sex even on our wedding night, and three months down, we’re still clueless. I asked him if he would like to do it, but he says that this is too pure for him and that he is uncomfortable with the whole act. So, what should I do to get him on board?

Hello cutie! It’s always exciting to explore the whole idea of sex for the first time. I’m surprised that both of you are inexperienced – this should be exciting since both of you are going through this journey together.

But but but. Healthy marriages are built on both – the physical and the emotional aspects. At some point, your body will naturally crave for sex and you’ll need to get it. If he is inexperienced, then this may or may not happen. These urges can sometimes be harmful, and come out in the form of cheating or one-night-stands with other people who can give you that. Unless both of you are mutually satisfied with no sex ever (which is frankly impossible for most people), I suggest that you go to a licensed sex therapist/counsellor. He may just need someone to talk about the entire act and make him open to the idea of doing it with you.

Another more intense thing is that men are just too awkward when it comes to admitting some sort of physical problems. Especially when it comes to their own sex organs. I noticed that you didn’t mention whether he’s been checked for any physical issues. He also may be hiding that and if he is, that’s going to be sad for you. There are too many professionals that can be consulted for this, so please do that ASAP. I hope you have a happy first time!

About the Author


Monica is a moniker for our relationship expert. She's been working as a relationship counselor for over 10 years, and over time, has sharpened her personality. Unlike typical counselors, Monica is not afraid to use a harsher method to resolve certain issues that demand it. Even if she's a virtual entity now, she can still see into your soul.

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